Broken Defeat

[drake lochlyn wilde]

THE SUN IT LIGHTS THE BLADES OF GRASS

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it‘s not like she knows the difference or cares
she‘s stupid and cold somewhere in the waves of doubt
IT‘S NOT LIKE SHE SWAM AWHILE AND FADED OUT[/color]
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He could still feel the sting in his cheek from where Taylor had slapped him three nights ago. The whole evening had been a disaster and Drake was terrified that he’d lost the beautiful doctor once and for all. Maybe he had been wrong to react the way he did, but after everything that had happened with his ex-wife he was paranoid and Taylor spent so much time with the other man that he couldn’t help but panic that something would happen and he’d be kicked to the kerb again.
Drake knew Taylor better than that though. She wasn’t the kind of girl to cheat or have an affair whilst she was in a relationship and Drake knew that her friendship with the lawyer he couldn’t help but hate meant an awful lot to her. The doctor had tried to get in touch with his girlfriend – if she was still that – for the last two days but she had been ignoring his calls and there was no answer when he buzzed her apartment. Jealously reared its ugly head again when he realised that she was probably with Damien again, but it was understandable when Drake was calm enough to see sense. He had hurt her and she had done what every girl or woman would do; she turned to her best friend.

He had been surprised when he ventured down to the morgue the previous day to find the gruff mortician and not the leggy brunette, but his heart sank when he heard about the arranged shift swap. Was Taylor really going this far to avoid him? He was determined to try and convince her to at least listen to him though, and he was pacing in front of the elevator, composing himself before taking the trip downstairs. He knew she was working today, one of the orderlies had told him after she’d been up to collect the delayed file on one patient who had been declared DOA after a car accident.
The twenty eight year old took a deep breath and pressed the button to summon the elevator, jumping in the moment the doors opened before he could back out of his decision. Even if Taylor was about to break his heart, he wanted to apologise to her and try to gather some semblance of a friendship with her, even if their romantic ideals were shattered now. There just had to be more to this than an ending.

He turned up the corridor towards the morgue where Taylor should be active. There she was, brown hair tumbling over her shoulders as she read through one of the files. He silently entered his access code and swiped his ID card to unlock the sealed doors and then cleared his throat as a way of getting her attention. “Hey, can we talk?”

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Drake is talking to Taylor Becks with a little inspiration from Ryan Adams when he sings about She Lost Total Control. There are 611 things on his mind and this on his back. His strings are pulled by Chastity, his heart is pounding worriedly.

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[Taylor Caroline Becks]

Taylor felt sick to her stomach. She had been tempted to call in sick to work today, but she knew she needed to keep busy and if that meant dealing with those who had recently passed away when so be it. She couldn’t believe she had lied to Damien and she couldn’t believe what had almost happened between them. She was still in a relationship with Drake no matter how tattered it may be and she vowed a long time ago, never to be one of those girls. Hell, if Damien hadn’t had a moment of clarity for them both then she would have felt so much worse than she did right now. Though, that ‘positive thinking’ hardly made her feel any better and her stomach was still churning, tying itself in knots as she moved through the shadows of the brightly lit hospital. She needed to avoid Drake. She needed to avoid Damien. She needed to avoid anyone who could possibly make her think any more about all of this. The temptation to use some vacation days and visit her father was lurking there and as much as she knew he’d love to see his only daughter, it would only take him a second to see that there was something wrong with her and this was the last conversation Taylor ever wanted to have with her father, as much as she loved him.

She stayed in the cool basement, taking her lunch in her office with a homemade sandwich and a few bits she had grabbed from her near bare fridge that morning when she woke up. The privacy, the silence only ever left Taylor with her thoughts which were usually concise and scarily methodical when it came to her normal life, but ever since these men had her heart racing, her logic had been clouded, confusion seeping through the cracks in her usually well collected mind that came only with being a doctor. There was little time for panic, for doubt and yet here Taylor was with both of them consuming her being. What did she want? Who did she want? It was a question easier asked than answered and Taylor didn’t even want to think about either of them right now. She just wanted to prove to herself that she could get through this day, go home, take a bath and then maybe eat her body weight in ice cream and if that didn’t solve anything…well then she’d have to actually tell someone what happened and deal with the truth of her emotions and the consequences of her actions.

The slender brunette looked at her next patient and then moved to pick up the corresponding file, her green eyes flicking over the doctor’s writing and neatly printed medical history, her trained mind absorbing each detail as she mentally prepared herself for finding another cause of death within someone who at a glance looked just as healthy as she was, emotional turmoil aside. She heard the click of someone unlocking the closed doors before she heard the soft cough and she turned around, expecting it to be one of the guys from upstairs informing her of another death or asking her to stay late to help them up in the ER. It was neither. Her jaw fell slack as she saw him standing there and she closed the file before she dropped it. Taylor couldn’t look him in the eye when he spoke, but instead looked at her heeled pumps, swallowing hard. “I’m kind of busy.”

[/color] She lied, knowing she owed him the right to talk to her, but she couldn’t face this, not now.
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• • •

TAGGED! Doctor Wilde
WORDS! 644
OUTFIT! Casual Beauty
LYRICS! Back To December - - - Taylor Swift
NOTES! <3 <3 <3