Exhausting To Keep Smiling

[Taylor Caroline Becks]

Life should not be this complicated. Taylor knew that she had herself to blame for most of what was keeping her awake at night lately, but that didn’t make dealing with it any easier. She saw Drake most days and Damien was still popping up here and there, trying to encourage the young doctor to reconsider her relationship and notice what was in front of her. Taylor didn’t want to admit to anything; least of all what she saw each and every time she was with the ex-lawyer. The tension between them was growing worse and it was quickly getting unbearable but she had worked well to keep the two men apart, though her thoughts and feelings were already knotted and tied together.

Now, it seemed as though it was all about to come crashing down and not even Taylor’s meticulous planning could help her avoid the nightmare that was approaching at the end of the month. In fact, there was only way Taylor could think of that might make the night a little more bearable and provide her with a helping hand if the paths of the two men did cross a little too close for the brunette’s liking. That ‘way’ was to use her plus one invitation to drag Bridget along to the masquerade ball. Drake had his own invite and she had gotten a text from Damien to say that he had received a phone call to go along as well to hopefully persuade more people to loosen those purse strings, or something of the like. Alone, Taylor would be entirely unable to cope with both men in the same room and she needed her best friend to help her keep on top of things before something bad came of the night.

The second the last body was off her table, Taylor sent a text to Bee, asking if she wanted to grab dinner and a drink down at Planet Hollywood. She needed to actually invite her friend and fill her in on her worries and everything else before she could start planning ways for the night to go smoothly, without any punch ups or Taylor screaming at everyone, passing far beyond her breaking point. A quick shower and change and Taylor was out, her car moving slowly through the traffic until she reached her destination and found the nearest place to park. Walking inside, she moved to the bar and ordered herself a strong drink before quickly remembering that she had come in her car and intended on leaving in it too. Calling the bartender back she changed it to a lime and soda and then waited for Bridget’s arrival, the invitation tucked in her bag just so that her friend could see for herself and get a better idea of the organised night, rather than just having to rely on the rambling of the flustered doctor.

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• • •

TAGGED! Bridget!!
WORDS! 519
OUTFIT! Every Day Drama
LYRICS! The Glass Slipper - - - The Dresden Dolls
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Bridget Cameron Delaynee]

Bridget’s life was the same always. There was teaching her classes all about the authors of yesteryear, the proper classical literature and the growing portion of creative writing. Home life consisted of grading work, baking more and more and bad TV. Koda was absent more than he was around and it left Bridget wondering where they stood lately. She liked the guy but was it enough to keep her invested in the Swat officer? The text she got from Taylor was like a white flag for her thoughts. All things were put on hold to see what man troubles her best friend had; anything really to get her mind off her own issues at hand. The other woman’s problems could rival that of a soap opera, but she also knew how much stress it was putting on her friend. She sent her a quick message back, letting her know she would be there soon and started closing her laptop down and gathering her things together.

She hadn’t realized the time, though thankfully she didn’t have any late classes that day. Most of her classes now were simply prep work and extra study time now that finals were around the corner and she’d taught them everything she could. It was all on them now, and Bridget needed a reprieve from the work load she knew was heading her way after finals were through. She packed what she knew she’d need for a potential night of working after dinner and drinks with her best friend. Bridget locked her office, heading straight for her car in the lot. She tossed her things in the trunk before getting in, starting the engine and booting it over to Planet Hollywood. Because you couldn’t go down four streets without hitting traffic, Bridget was probably late when she finally pulled into the restaurants’ parking lot. Bee grabbed her bag; tossing it over her shoulder she hit the alarm just after shutting the door.

She wasn’t sure what was on the doctor’s mind but she would listen to whatever she had to say and help her as well as she could. Bridget walked through the front door and away from the podium, searching her friend out. If she even had an inkling of the reason behind the impromptu dinner, then Bridget would bet money the other woman was at the bar. And sure enough, Bee’s blue eyes landed on the brunette doctor almost instantly. She stuck out and had about a dozen guys blatantly checking her out. Grinning, Bridget sauntered up to her best friend, claiming the stool beside Taylor as her own. “You summoned? What can Doctor Bridgey do for you this fine evening?” she asked, laughing. When the bartender handed her friend a drink, she ordered one of her own, the same, before taking a quick glance over her shoulder with a smirk on her lips. If Tay wasn’t interested in the two men she had practically drooling over her, there were plenty of guys in the restaurant that would be willing to fill their shoes.

Tags || Taylor!
Words || 510
Clothes || Drama-lama!
Music || I Feel Like Dancing by All Time Low
Notes || <3

[Taylor Caroline Becks]

The reason this whole mess had been able to drag on for so long was because Taylor wasn’t used to it. There were never serious guys in her love life; they were usually shallow, dim-witted and wanted a quick fix of the doctor and that was all she wanted from them too, usually dumping them before the first month was gone by. Her love life was not the healthiest at all, but then she never claimed for it to be. She had actually liked living like that and then Drake came along and she thought she’d give safety a change, but then Damien came back into her life and it was like nothing had changed from when she was eighteen. How was a girl supposed to make sense of all that?

She wasn’t the girl who wanted a fairy tale ending or a silly promise for the future. She had never been the lovesick girl who longed for a boyfriend and back in high school she had hated getting attention from guys, not wanting it or really knowing what to do when it happened. Now she knew it was because of her feelings for Damien, but he was not to blame for the rest of her love life reading like she had the makings of the runaway bride. She didn’t know what was going on in her head or her heart anymore, but she just wanted someone to give her an answer.

Taylor did feel terrible about unloading all of this regularly on Bridget, but the blonde professor was the only person Taylor had in her life who she could turn to and who could give her a straight answer without doing the gushing that was often seen on Sex and the City when Taylor didn’t change the channel in time. There wasn’t a lot else that Taylor could do; every time she tried to have it out with the men for answers, it resulted in her yelling like she was PMS-ing constantly and it was wreaking havoc with her nerves and her sanity. She just wanted her old life back where there were no boyfriends, awkward lingering feelings or any of this stress.

She was about to drop her head to the bar when she heard her friend take up the spot next to her. She sighed in relief and then pushed her brown waves back from her face. Flicking her green eyes over to Bridget, Taylor almost silently pleaded with her. “Kill me, please?”

[/color] She asked, only just joking about the matter. She sipped her soda and sighed again, propping her head up on her hand as she twisted just enough to face Bee a little more. “I need a miracle to get me out of this mess. It’s not like I asked for any of this. Girls like me don’t care for this drama, yet we get sucked into it and then we’re stuck there like a fly in a web and we get twisted into being the villain.”[/color] She rambled on, just letting her thoughts out before her head exploded.
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• • •

TAGGED! Bridget!!
WORDS! 553
OUTFIT! Every Day Drama
LYRICS! The Glass Slipper - - - The Dresden Dolls
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Bridget Cameron Delaynee]

In all the time Bee knew Taylor, she’d never seen the woman so frazzled as she’d been the last little while. Bridget tried to help as much as she could, but even she knew it just came down to picking one. And that was exactly the problem; which didn’t help in the least. Both men had their good traits, and bad. And she knew Tay liked them both, though it didn’t take a genius to see that there were strong feelings between her and Damien; stronger than her and Drake. Still, as much as Bridget wanted to just come right out and say as much, she knew it wouldn’t help in the least. Taylor had to do this on her own, with only a small bit of insight on Bridget’s part. “Ooh, sorry, can’t do that. It’s in the friend code, section twelve, subsection two, paragraph three. I would love to help but my hands are tied,” Bridget said, holding her hands up, wrists together.

“So, we’re having a shoe issue then?” Bridget asked, teasing. Lately, if it wasn’t about the men in her life, there wasn’t any drama to be had! Before when they’d talked it was about work, the city and shopping, like all good girl talk was. Now it had the added element of the men in the brunette’s life and how she was torn between the two; though Bridget was a tad biased. She knew Damien from work, and liked him. The other doctor Taylor was seeing turned all the lights off on her little critters. And, although Bridget wasn’t a huge fan of Taylor’s pets, some of them freaked her out a little bit; she understood he had been trying to be romantic. She could appreciate that, but she didn’t like how he’d gone about it and then turned it all into a yelling match.

She wasn’t a fan of the pets Taylor kept, but she wasn’t about to go do something reckless to their habitats either. Bridget smiled up at the bartender when her drink was set before her. She picked it up sipping at whatever it was she ordered, pleased when she realized there was no alcohol. Just because she was seeing a cop, didn’t give her an excuse to drink and drive. Faintly, Bridget heard her phone going off, The Who’s Who are you, and quickly reached into her bag to shut it off. It didn’t matter who was calling, she was busy. If it were that important, they’d leave a message for her to get back to when she was good a ready. “Sorry,” she said again, shaking her head and she silenced the phone and slipped it back into her bag; not bothering to check and see who it was she’d just hung up on. ”What’s happening this time, Tay?,” she asked, sipping her drink.

Tags || Taylor!
Words || 475
Clothes || Drama-lama!
Music || I Feel Like Dancing by All Time Low
Notes ||-_- <3

[Taylor Caroline Becks]

Of all the things that might’ve put the young mortician into a whirlwind of emotions and problems, Taylor didn’t ever think that it would be love. She had always been so level headed when it came to that area of her life and fairy tales and Prince Charming were not things that she believed in. On paper, everything probably seemed obviously straightforward, but it was so much more complicated than that. Sure, she had only ever uttered those three powerful words to one of them, despite the other reciting them to her on a daily basis, but that wasn’t enough to convince her head to follow her heart. She was terrified of ruining something that had taken twenty plus years to form and she was even more scared of losing Damien when she did feel so strongly for him. He had the power to shatter her heart entirely and leave her as nothing more than a cynical Miss Havisham waiting to happen. “That’s a terrible part of the friend code. Someone should re-examine that thing, it’s totally outdated.”

[/color] She said in monotone, her mind still wrapped up in everything to value the humour of the joke her blonde friend had just made.

“At least if it were a shoe issue I could buy both pairs and just max out my credit card for a month.”[/color] Taylor sighed, pushing the caramel hair from her face and sipping from her soda. Again, the answer seemed obvious and even Bridget must be wondering why Taylor had been struggling with this choice for months now, but it was one of those situations that seemed very different once it was happening to you. In the past, Taylor would probably roll her eyes at women who were torn between two men in the same way she was, but now she understood why it was so difficult to pick between them, especially when there was so much at stake. Easy solutions didn’t exist and Taylor would give her left arm for one to spring up from the bar and point her to the right choice. The main problem was that Taylor didn’t want to regret the rest of her life or hurt someone important to her. There were so many chances that things wouldn’t work out with either of the men and she didn’t want to risk everything on some whim. Romantic relationships changed things and she had to decide if she wanted them to change first.

Taylor waved her friend’s apology away. She knew how busy life could be and she was just thankful that today wasn’t one of the days she was on the rota to be on call if anything happened. She might have spent most of her career so far in the morgue, but Taylor did have to pull her weight at the hospital from time to time, especially if they were short staffed or busy. Still, today was her day off and she wouldn’t be called in unless there was some catastrophe in the city. She picked her bag up from the floor and fished out the envelope containing the invitation to this stupid ball, tossing it to Bridget before resting her head on the palm of her hand, propping her elbow on the bar. “My boss wants me to go to explain my role at the hospital. Drake is going since he’s a prominent member of the trauma team. I got a text this afternoon and it seems that Damien has been invited by some pretty important people he knows in the city. I cannot deal with both of them in the same room, not after everything that’s happened.”[/color] Taylor explained, giving her friend some time to read over the fancy invitation and understand what the doctor was trying to say without rambling off again.
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• • •

TAGGED! Bridget!!
WORDS! 675
OUTFIT! Every Day Drama
LYRICS! The Glass Slipper - - - The Dresden Dolls
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Bridget Cameron Delaynee]

As much as Bridget wanted to just slap her friend and make her see the light of day, she couldn’t do that. She could tell her until she was blue in the face who she should choose, but every time she tried, she was reminded how Drake wasn’t such a bad guy. “I don’t make the rules of the code, I just live by them,” she said, rolling her eyes. The joke had clearly not gone as well as Bee would have hoped but that was her fault. She tried to bring humour into every situation, even the ones were it was awkward. It was her defense mechanism; jokes, and bad ones at that. Bridget took a sip of her drink, grinning. “Mine, yours and I could sneak Koda’s from him,” she said joking though she would hardly take his credit cards from him; especially considering how their relationship had been going lately.

She couldn’t really blame him completely, she was working later hours and bringing work home with her, too. During the last month or so of school, there weren’t enough hours in the day to do everything that needed to be done. But these drinks were not about her, they were about Tay and Bridget was so much better at hiding her own troubles and problems. She was a happy person, even with the issues she was having in her private life. Bridget barely had her eyes off the phone when Taylor was tossing something her way. Thankfully she caught the envelope before it flew in behind the bar and she had to flirt it back into her hands; though she figured a simple, ‘excuse me, I dropped that’ would suffice. Hey blue eyes narrowed at it as she looked at the front, and then flipped it over to examine the back. Nice paper, no doubt expensive, fairly heavy stock. Opening it, she pulled the elaborate invitation out to examine. Those blue eyes fell on the event and widened to the size of saucers while still keeping half an ear on Taylor’s rant.

All of that gave her the answer she wanted to her “what’s this” question. But she still didn’t know what this masquerade ball meant for her. “Well, I’m sure it won’t be that bad, Tay. Avoid spending too much time in the presence of either one, flit between groups and pray to whichever deity you’d prefer that they never get introduced!” Bridget said, practically gulping down her soda and officially wishing she hadn’t driven her car to the restaurant. If any of this had been happening to her, she would be pickled by now; especially after this twisted turn of events, though it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise. It was inevitable that the two would be put under the same roof at some point. Damien had been a hotshot lawyer and now was a prominent member of the NYU faculty, while Drake was a leading man in his field of choice. “Falling that we can change your name and ship you off to the Bahamas to live the rest of your life renting sea doo’s and scuba gear to tourists in bad Hawaiian shirts.”

Tags || Taylor!
Words || 531
Clothes || Drama-lama!
Music || I Feel Like Dancing by All Time Low
Notes ||-_- <3

[Taylor Caroline Becks]

What mithered Taylor the most about this was that her feelings for Damien did outweigh how she felt about Drake, but there was nothing bad about the trauma doctor. She couldn’t fault him or place him in the role of the villain and every time he reminded her just how he loved her, she felt a little bit worse for being with him. Drake had been through enough when it came to love; his cheating wife had driven him to New York and he had allowed his faith in romance to be restored with Taylor. How was she supposed to shatter him all over again, being nothing really any better than his ex-wife; both of them had feelings for other men. Normally, Taylor would go with honesty, tell him the truth and apologise before walking away from the relationship, but this time it wasn’t some random guy who’d get over her by getting under someone else. She might not have loved him the way she loved Damien, but Taylor still cared about the man and he was definitely a good friend to her. “I don’t think shoes can ruin a girl’s life this much.” She sighed and shook the uncharacteristic pessimism away. There was always a solution; Taylor was just too overwhelmed by everything to work it out so easily right now.

There were worse things going on in the world right now and there were people with bigger problems than this. The brunette doctor did feel a bit guilty for being so self-involved lately, but she couldn’t help it when the two men circled her thoughts, even when she ought to be focusing on something else. She couldn’t be the woman she valued herself to be until this was resolved, which didn’t seem to be happening as fast as the movies seem to suggest. It should’ve been easy if she just followed her heart, but there was always that little voice in the back of her head that held her back and told her something different. Like, when she was hanging out with Damien, she felt as though there was something there; little double innuendos in their conversations, hugs that lasted just a fraction of a second too long…but then again she might have just been reading too much into something like some obsessed high school girl with a crush on the popular guy.

She looked across at Bridget, her green eyes wide and fixed on the blonde as though she was missing the vital piece of the puzzle. Granted, she was, because Taylor hadn’t mentioned the reason why she had called Bridget to meet her here yet. The brunette was so flustered though that it hadn’t clicked that she hadn’t spelt it all out for the English Lit. professor. “What do you mean? You’re coming as my plus one!”

[/color] There were no negotiations to be had. Taylor needed her friend there for moral support, to stop her from drinking the bar dry and to stop something completely mad from happening. “They already know who the other is and I can’t have a repeat of what happened last time I got drunk and Damien was around.”[/color] She whispered the last part since Bridget was the only one who knew about that night. Taylor might blame the fight with Drake for some of it, but she knew that was a weak argument. She had known exactly what she wanted the second she knocked on his door, but he was too good a guy to let any of that happen while Drake was in the picture – if he did even have feelings for her. It was a vicious thought cycle she couldn’t break free from no matter how hard she tried. “The Bahamas sound like a wonderful idea right now.”[/color] She whined before dropping her head to the bar top and gesturing to the bartender for a refill, wishing there was something stronger in the glass.
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• • •

TAGGED! Bridget!!
WORDS! 697
OUTFIT! Every Day Drama
LYRICS! The Glass Slipper - - - The Dresden Dolls
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Bridget Cameron Delaynee]

Bridget had never been in her friend’s situation, though she tried to help her out with advice and support. She didn’t think she was helping in the least, but at least she was there when Tay needed to vent and she always would be. Sometimes that was all you needed; an ear when everything was piling up. Bridget smiled, “No, but the wrong pair could ruin your entire day.” Words, usually the written word was Bridget’s life, it was her career. Euphemisms were all over the place in books and novels; old and new, though the newer novels had more creative ones running about. It was definitely odd to see her closest friend so frazzled by this. Before this Bridget would have said she’s never seen her best friend in such a state but lately it seemed like drained was all she was.

Bridget was casually sipping at her drink, flipping the heavy paper of the invitation around to look at the back before flipping it again when Taylor blurted out. Bridget nearly choked on her drink but managed to swallow the soda in her mouth with only a little cough. “What?!” Bridget said; her voice high in shock. Bridget had never been to anything like this invitation suggested. This meant a fancy dress, shoes, and accessories. Shopping, one big giant shopping spree is what this was calling for and twenty minutes ago Bridge had been complaining there was nothing exciting going on in her life. Ask and you shall receive, apparently, because now she was going to be on guard duty for a fancy fundraiser. She sighed, realizing there was absolutely no way she was getting out of this masquerade ball.

Bridget got over the teeny, tiny forgotten detail of her tagging along to the ball thing in seconds once Tay continued. Her grin was big like she held a secret. “Ahh, yes… that night,” Bee said, knowing better than to fully mention the kiss. “I could go for a repeat of that night,” she mused picking her drink back up and smiling wickedly with the straw stuck between her teeth. After everything the doctor had gone through, especially after this upcoming night, she was going to need a week away from real life. Whether she got her feelings reciprocated by Damien or she stuck with Drake, the girl needed a trip. And Bridget wouldn’t hide the fact that she was absolutely hoping Tay came to her sense and chose her fellow professor. Bridget had liked Damien immediately meeting him. He knew their friend the longest and so he was the one to go to for those embarrassing childhood stories. “Pack your bags, I’ll make the calls, drinks on me when we land!” she said, grinning as she set her drink down on the bar and clapped her hands together.

Tags || Taylor!
Words || 471
Clothes || Drama-lama!
Music || I Feel Like Dancing by All Time Low
Notes ||-_- <3

[Taylor Caroline Becks]

Taylor did appreciate Bridget’s help and advice, especially since she seemed to be turning to the blonde more and more now as this situation dragged on for longer than what should’ve been necessary. Taylor’s problem though was that while she could receive and take advice well, the part where she acted upon it always seemed halted. She had been through a lot over the years and whilst she seemed confident enough, she was so very scared of the future and taking certain risks. She liked to live her life in a spontaneous fashion, but when it came to making plans for the future, she got cold feet and tried to run away from it all. Her mom had died young and Taylor didn’t want to the same to happen to her; she didn’t want to leave behind a daughter or a husband with nothing more than memories. It was why she had always been so apprehensive about long-term relationships and now that fear was manifesting itself in all kinds of crazy ways that Taylor couldn’t explain or escape from, not even when she did manage to get a few good hours of sleep. “I feel like I’ve been walking around with a broken heel for the last month.”

[/color] She mumbled metaphorically. In this case, the broken heel was Drake, but he was still holding in there, offering just enough support to keep her going with this game of soap opera.

Taylor looked at her friend as though she had sprouted an extra head. “You didn’t think I’d be going alone to deal with this, did you?”[/color] The event was nothing Taylor was used to either and the young doctor was convinced she had only been given an invitation so that she could go and glamorise the world of pathology and morgues. There was a stereotype of hermit like doctors slinking around down there, providing some strange air of mystery to a job that was less creepy than most people thought. “I wouldn’t know what to do at one of these things even without the men giving me a headache and cause for concern.”[/color] The brunette said, brushing a curly tendril of hair from her face and reaching for her glass again. Taylor didn’t have a fancy dress in her wardrobe and she certainly wasn’t used to elegant events like this one where everyone had money to spare and a strange fascination with everything. She’d need Bridget there anyway to stop her from having a meltdown mid-conversation with some socialite.

Without even thinking about the words passing her lips, Taylor spoke again. “So could I.”[/color] She said on a sigh before slamming her glass down and shaking her head. “What?! No. Shut up.”[/color] She directed the last of her nonsensical spout of words at Bridget and then sighed again. This was exactly why she couldn’t go to this ball alone. It was bad enough that the night with Damien was the last thought in her mind each night, even when Drake was snoring away next to her. She was surprised he hadn’t grown suspicious with the less amount of time Taylor had stayed at his or invited him to stay at hers. It had been two weeks since they’d shared a bed and yet the other doctor acted as though there was nothing wrong with that, which gave Taylor a bit to be thankful for. She couldn’t cope with another fight about trust and secrets; it’d all come pouring out in a speech given so fast that she’d need an oxygen tank at the end of it.
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• • •

TAGGED! Bridget!!
WORDS! 639
OUTFIT! Every Day Drama
LYRICS! The Glass Slipper - - - The Dresden Dolls
NOTES! <3 <3 <3