Breathe Again - - - *

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

He hadn’t slept in three days. Those three days were taking their toll on him now and it was clear by the circles around his dark eyes and the stubble growing on his face from where he’d not shaved. Every time he closed his eyes the fight in the airport with Bella echoed around his mind, making him regret everything even more than he already did. Most of it was a blur now, but he remembered her slapping him and he remembered how he completely lost his cool and started shouting things that he didn’t even mean.
He had called her a bitch.
Marc never swore and one of the rare times he did, it was directed at Bella, the girl who still held the remains of his shattered heart, even if she would never believe it in a million years. He had been such a fool, but he knew that there were no words in the English or the French language to get her back now; not that she wanted him.

He had a son now and it was clear from the moment Bella saw him that she hated him for it. She believed that he had kept it a secret from her, deliberately hiding it from her until it was too late. She was just like his family on that opinion. How could someone not know they had a six year old son who only lived two blocks away from his family home?
It was a question he’d never be able to answer but now he had the chance of a future with his son. There was still a lot to sort out and marc had to balance that with his career. The college had told him to take as much time off as he needed, but he felt obligated to go in for the sake of the kids in his class. The Delabarre children had been raised to help everyone and not just to dwell on themselves.
That was how come Marc found himself sitting at his desk in his office, whilst Laurence played on the floor with some of his toys. They were still staying at The Plaza until Marc got his head straight, which was what he was trying to do now.

He’d slipped to their – Bella’s apartment the day after the airport fiasco and collected up his things whilst she was out at work. He figured she wouldn’t want to see him and he was in no state to face her, not after everything that had already happened.
So now, behind his desk, he sat with his laptop, looking at apartment advertisements, hoping to find a nice little two bedroom apartment for him and his son, preferably somewhere nice and yet as far away as possible from Bella. He just couldn’t face her; he wasn’t that strong. On the college desktop, however, he was narrowing down the shortlist of schools he’d been looking at. Laurence had been accepted to three that he liked and now it was down to choosing the one that was best. They all offered translators and would give Laurence English lessons to help him understand the rest of the children. It was just a tough choice for Marc to make, knowing how big an impact this could have on his son’s life.

His eyes were sore, even with the help of his glasses and he knew that he needed to sleep soon, before it affected his health. Luckily, that was one thing that was easily covered when it came to Laurence and the doctor had already booked him in for a physical examination, more to put Marc at ease than anyone else. He knew very little about his son, other than his likes and dislikes so far and he was terrified of something happening to him and him not knowing what was wrong.

His mother was always on the phone to lend him a helping hand though, despite the miles between them. She was devastated to hear about what had happened with Bella, but she reminded Marc that he couldn’t be held responsible for her reactions to Laurence, but did add that it was such a shame.

He clicked on another apartment link and then opened the next email from the schools. There still seemed to be a mountain of things to do, including the stack of papers due for grading on his desk. It also didn’t help that there was noise outside and he tried to block it out, but it just seemed to get louder. He shoved the chair back from the desk and perched his laptop precariously on the edge of it before moving around to see what the hell was disturbing him from his work.

[/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 823
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Arabella Marie Curtis]

It had all turned into one huge, terrifically frightening blur. From the moment she'd taken that stupid pregnancy test in the airport's restrooms, to Marc calling her a bitch, to him storming off in a cab with his son. Everything had become one big blank spot. Bella could only recall pieces of it. And, even then it wasn't on her own terms. The last couple nights had been filled with every word Marc had said, every insult he'd hurled at her, and the exact speech he'd given to backup his statements about her being a bitch. A selfish, conceited bitch.

That alone had shaken Bella's world up to no end. She'd cried about it, yes, for most of the first night. And she'd promised herself to change after about six hours of lying her their... her bed and sobbing her heart out. Bella wanted to be able to be worthy of Marc again. She wanted him with all her heart, mind, soul, and body. He was the only guy for her, and she was as sure about that as she was her own name. It was just a matter of figuring out how to try and win him back, erase this whole couple weeks that had driven them both insane and away from each other.

But, before she'd really recovered, Bella had done one thing that could take her away from Marc forever. She'd basically said yes to the casting director who'd called her while Marc was off in Arles with his son, who Bella was now starting to realize wasn't entirely an evil demon sent from her own personal hell. But, anyways. She was going off to California next week if the call back went as planned. Which, she knew it would. She'd get a call Monday morning saying they wanted her, and she'd say yes. Unless she had a reason to stay in New York and not go out to California for three months.

Bella couldn't leave things like they were, however. She needed to at least part on better terms with Marc even if he'd entirely given up on her now. Even if he couldn't love her, Bella wanted him to know she was still as in love with him as she'd been four weeks ago. His son didn't matter, the entire trip to Arles didn't. As long as he knew she would be there for him, Bella could go and run off to the place as far away as possible from Marc.

And, that had been suggested to her by the one person she trusted more than him. Kari. Bella had called her sister when she'd gotten home, explained everything, and then listened to her sister bitch about much of a bitch Bella had acted like. She hadn't been able to shake the words all week, along with Marc's...

"Bella, you fucking idiot! How the hell could you do that?! TO HIM OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE?!" Kari had screeched, reminding Bella exactly where her... colorful vocabulary had come from.

"I don't know! The...the kid was there a-and Marc was screaming and... I wanted to know why he'd left. I-I... I dunno, okay!" she sobbed back, clutching one of Marc's sweatshirts tighter around her tiny shoulders.

"Arabella Marie, stop crying this bloody minute. You're gonna make this up to him, little girl," Kari had said sternly, yet Bella knew she meant well. She always did.

"Kari... the audition, though. They want me out there for rehearsal, out in California. And they want me there by next week Friday," she'd choked out, shaking her head as the possibilities swirled around her. Leave and put Marc in her past, or stay and try to keep him as a part of her future?

It was still the question she'd been asking as this big, grand idea came popping into her head. Part of her hoped it'd turn out better than her last, the ginormous tragedy that that had been. Bella would make sure it did. She wouldn't screw this one thing up. Just this once, please.

She walked up to the professors' offices of NYU, her heart beating ten million miles per hour as the two security guards she'd bribed trailed behind her. With a flick of her wrist, Bella had them clear the hallway out where she knew Marc's office was. Simply looking at the door made her want to cry, but she refused to give into that yet. Later, after this, she could cry. For right now, she needed to do one thing to prove she was in fact grown up. She needed to say sorry.

Bella sat down on the hall window ledge, unzipping her guitar case and staring fondly down at the instrument. She'd had it for years now; since before high school almost. And, hopefully, today it would fix one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

The sudden amount of noise died down as quickly as it had come on, and Bella gave the security guards a quick smile of thanks as they chased the straggling students away from the teachers they were coming from. She perched the guitar lightly on her thighs, fingers brushing over the strings and taking some strength from the familiar notes that echoed into the, now silent, air around her.

"Please, let this work."

She took one deep breath, closing her eyes and biting the inside of her lip as she began the song she'd learned so long ago... and she was now reapplying to her life today.

Bella's gentle voice rang out into the tensed silence that surrounded her, and she forced her eyes to stay on her fingers as she heard a door open. She'd keep singing until he kicked her out; if he even bothered to speak to her.

"But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips."

• • •

WORDS: 1063!
TAG: Her Prince Charming <3
LOCATION: The Hallway, Outside His Office
OUTFIT: TEDDY BEAR!
LYRICS: "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
NOTES: <3 <3 <3

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

There had been moments during the last few days when Marc had been slightly tempted to return to Arles for good. These thoughts mainly came at night when he sat up watching Laurence sleep; oblivious to his father’s problems. He had come to New York for Bella and now that they were apart, he really had no solid reason to stay other than for his job – something that wasn’t life or death to him. He could get another job easily enough if it came down to it.
He couldn’t do it though. No matter how much the thought came back, Marc remained in The Plaza hotel planning out their life in New York. The Delabarre pride kicked in, finally, after twenty four years and Marc needed to prove that this was something he could do; that he could be a good father and make up for the six years that he had already missed out on. He couldn’t go home with his tail between his legs and ask his parents for help, he just couldn’t.

Plus, his heart; broken and irreparable, still held onto a glimmer of hope that maybe there was a chance for him and Bella. He had no idea how; he had said awful things to her in that moment of anger and he couldn’t take them back, no matter how many apologies he tried to give her, he knew that she wouldn’t forget those words. If could change the situation, then he would have done already, but he honestly was out of ideas and he was too tired to keep up the chase when it was obvious that she wasn’t ready for his change in priorities and wanted no part of him playing daddy to another woman’s baby.
Still, he wished they could talk, like adults, and at least let him have a chance to explain everything to her without fear of another screaming match. He didn’t like them, rarely did them and hoped that he’d never have to go through that ordeal ever again. It was too much for him when he spent night after night dwelling on the hurtful things that were said.

He had Laurence though, and right now that would be enough. Maybe time apart, single, would be what he needed to adjust to fatherhood. He still had a lot to do and even if Bella had accepted this situation, he still probably wouldn’t have seen her or spent much time with her in the last few days. Usually, by the time they arrived back at the hotel, Marc was carrying his sleeping son over his shoulder, upset that all the errands had exhausted the small boy so much. This weekend, he’d take him out though; treat him to a game in the park, lunch wherever he liked, afternoon in the toy store, trip to the zoo…make him really feel at home. It wasn’t easy so far, but it would be a start, right? Get the little boy more comfortable and let him see just how much fun there was to be had in this place; his new home.
Marc had to get started on the English lessons too. The schools had great programmes for him to learn, but Marc wanted to have a go at it himself. It didn’t seem all that long ago that he was learning English and he could remember how patient you had to be in order to get it all correct. He didn’t have a problem communicating with his son in French; in fact it was a nice change and he was happy to do it for the rest of their time together, but he knew that it wasn’t practical for Laurence to know only his native tongue whilst they lived here.

The noise outside his office was quite disruptive and Marc was preparing to ask the students to move along unless they were waiting for a professor, in which case, they would have to keep the noise levels down. The offices here were pretty much a sanctuary for the teaching staff when they needed to escape the chaotic corridors and have some solitary time to plan out classes and simply, sometimes, to relax. Right now, Marc’s resembled some sort of crèche as Laurence had emptied most of the toy box onto the floor and surrounded himself with them all.
However, when he pulled the door open, the last thing he expected to see was Bella sitting on the window ledge, guitar in her hand and singing.

He stood there for a few moments, absorbing the scene, confused and a little shocked by her presence. For a second, he wondered if this was just his tired mind playing tricks on him, but his own mind wouldn’t be so cruel as to taunt him with this sight.
She didn’t look up from her fingers. He didn’t know whether this was a good or a bad thing, but as she continued to the song that clearly struck their current…thing…perfectly, Marc was compelled to act, to do something. He found his feet moving forward, closing the distance between them as she kept her eyes fixed on one spot. Soon, he was standing directly in front of her and whilst he didn’t want to ruin her song, he needed to know that this was real, that she was really here, and why.
His fingers closed around hers, pulling them gently away from the instrument, hopefully getting her attention to look up at him.

He was terrified of hearing what she had to say, but he knew that he needed to hear it, needed to understand what was happening with them both and their shattered relationship. “Bella…you came ‘ere…but why?”

[/color] He couldn’t deal with a screaming match or flimsy excuses. His heart couldn’t deal with them; he just needed honest answers.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 1005
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Arabella Marie Curtis]

California was looking less and less appealing every time Bella thought about it. There was no Marc to go with this time, and she knew absolutely nobody out in the sunny state. There would only be her, a puppy, and memories from a few terribly wonderful months spent in New York City. And every ounce of talent her broken body posessed. Maybe... maybe that was why she'd even gotten the job. The loss of Marc would make her die inside, and almost die outside. But, it'd give her real life experience to put into her acting career and characters that she'd someday play. It was good for Bella, as any hardship was. But she'd rather have only played a broken hearted girl instead of truly been one.

Clairice has said it was because she was damn amazing in that audition room, more amazing than she'd ever been in the past. And, coming from Clairice, that was definitely something to be proud of. But Bella wasn't proud of it. Actually, she thought it had been one of her worst performances ever. She'd broken down crying halfway through, and had to almost sob out her lines. Apparently, it had made everything look "realisitc" and "heart touching". Really, though, Bella was putting each piece of her shattered heart into that one monologue. And it had landed her her biggest job offer yet.

Marc had. Indirectly, but whatever. So, damn. Everything good had to involve him, didn't it? What would happen in a life without the sunshine and her "good luck" charm? What was Bella supposed to do without him? She had no effing clue, and that's why she was currently at NYU. Bella had to make things up with him, or at least get them speaking to each other again. She wanted to be with him, snuggle up to him at night, kiss him with as much passion as the two of them could handle.

Her heart ached so much for him, it was causing her to slowly fall ill.

Bella's fingers were trembling as she played, and it was taking all her self control to keep her voice from faltering and cracking as she played. There were so many emotions running through her mind. And, she could've told you it was Marc without him stepping in front of her. She knew it was him, she always would.

Her shaking got worse as his hands closed around her tiny ones, and she closed her eyes for a long moment before slowly, hesitantly sliding her fingers inbetween his. She was so nervous, so scared, so afraid he really didn't want her here, didn't want her anywhere near him at all. Bella peeked up at him after a long moment, losing all her small bit of confidence at his question. He didn't sound very happy to see her.

"I-I... I c-can go. I just... I'm... I'm sorry," she stuttered brokenly, ducking her eyes from his again and slipping her fingers out of his quickly. Bella got up off the windowsill, more frazzled than ever as she fought the tears in her eyes. Was he mad she'd come? Was he going to scream at her again, call her a bitch for even trying to fix things after she'd shattered them so much? She clutched her guitar tightly, shaking her head. No, she wasn't going to run away from him like this, like he had from her after all the harsh words that had exploded from his lips.

"I'm l-leaving. I want... I want you and Laurence to take the apartment," she whispered, still not looking at him as she spoke. "I got a call back while you... while you were in Arles. Rehearsals are in California. I'm leaving," she repeated, trying to sound more sure of herself than she really was. But, she couldn't.

She couldn't tell Marc she was leaving because, honestly, she didn't want to go.

Not without him.

• • •

WORDS: 734!
TAG: Her Prince Charming <3
LOCATION: The Hallway, Outside His Office
OUTFIT: TEDDY BEAR!
LYRICS: "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
NOTES: <3 <3 <3

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

Hearing those words; “I’m leaving”, broke Marc into a million pieces. It made this whole thing seem so final, so real. It killed the hopeless romantic in him and left him feeling numb, empty, hollow. He knew that they had little chance of rekindling their love, but still, he had hoped so much that some miracle would happen to bring them back together and repair their broken hearts.

He had hoped that this was it. It wasn’t though; it was the complete opposite. Bella was here, finalising their break up, ending the last two years of their lives without another word more than what was necessary. It couldn’t end like this. He couldn’t let it go so easily, not after everything they had been through from London to New York and not when she was standing here in front of him! He had to do something before she walked out of his life for good and he spent the rest of his life regretting this day; the day he let her go without at least trying to save what they had.

The thing about hopeless romantics is that no matter how broken their hearts may be, they keep going, keep functioning and keep pushing their little dreamers forward. Marc’s was no difference and as Bella stood there, saying her goodbyes, his heart took over, blocking out everything other than the fact that she was here, in front of him, possibly for the last time. The pounding beneath his chest reached his ears and his jaw tightened, not with anger or hatred, but with determination. It would not end like this.
The college hallway faded from his vision, the students outside dissolved into nothing and even Laurence, who watched from the open door, slipped from his mind for this moment.
He only had once chance to do this; to convey everything he needed to say before it was too late, or before she took something the wrong way and another fight broke out.

Marc was rarely ever selfish, but for this one moment in his life, he didn’t care about the rest of the world. He wanted Bella to stay and he wanted her to sit down and listen to him before jumping to conclusions like the silly thing often did. Words were not enough though and he could tell that she was ready to race down the hall faster than even the track team could contend with, so he had to act fast, meaningful and powerful if he wanted this to work.
There was no fear about that though. The heart that was hammering out of his chest was impulsive enough alone to clear this mess up and do the things that should’ve been done long before now, before ‘goodbyes’ were even considered as part of the equation.

He reached out and grabbed her slender wrist in a gentle, but firm grip with his strong hand and pulled her closer to his chest. His other hand moved to the back of her neck, softly tilting her head so that he could see her properly, instead of this shy disposition she had adopted. Before either of them could think again, he crashed his lips on hers, kissing her in a manner that was wildly inappropriate for where they were and for who could be watching.
In that one kiss, he tried to convey every emotion that had been bottled up since his outburst the other day; hurt, regret, sorrow, and most of all, love. There was so much passion behind his tender lips and he hoped that Bella could sense that as he moved his hand from her wrist to encircle her waist, pulling her as close to him as was physically possible.

He wasn’t ready for goodbyes, not when she was his forever.

When he pulled away, he was breathless and more emotional than ever. He rested his forehead against hers and ran his fingers through her dark eyes as he gazed deeply into her eyes, hoping, wishing, praying that she could see everything he had wanted to say in that kiss reflected in his chocolate pools. “I am so sorry Bella. For everything.”

[/color] He swallowed hard, his helpless heart once again coming to his rescue and providing him with the words his head refused to say. “Zee truth eez zhat I cannot accept zee apartment from you. Living zhere, vith our memories…I could not do eet. I…I am still in love you Bella and I do not think zhat eez something zhat vill change. Ever.”[/color] He took a step back to give her some space and exhaled, collecting him emotions together as best as he could, though his voice was still broken. “Congratulations though…on the job…”[/color] If hearts could kick, his kicked him hard just then.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 836
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Arabella Marie Curtis]

Bella had to go. She had to run. And, if it was to California, then so be it. But, she couldn't stay here. Not with the chance of running into Marc. If she packed up, left him the apartment, and took off for California and a new life within a few days, she'd have very little time to think. And, currently, thinking was her worst enemy. She'd think about every single mean thing she'd said to Marc, every time he'd comforted her, every time he'd sat by while she blew her fuse over some stupid little thing at work. And all she'd done was act like a total bitch to him, something he'd finally called her out on. It's shattered her heart more than he could possibly comprehend.

That was the one thing she'd never, ever been called by him. Bella had only heard it from one other person, someone who'd crumpled her heart just as much as Marc had. And, look where that relationship had gone... Things were all starting to blur together. Between the two heart breaks, Bella didn't know which was worse. No, that wasn't right. She did know which one was worse. It was now, with Marc. He'd touched something inside of her nobody else had ever done, and now he'd yanked the piece away and left her standing in the dark, a terrible, verbal slap in the face mournfully keeping her company.

She gulped back the tears as she rushed to shove her guitar away, the large bulk at the front suddenly reminding her of the small peace offering she'd brought for Marc. Or, rather, for his son. For Laurence. Bella really needed to start calling him by his name. She sniffled softly, curtaining her face off from Marc as she raced to zip up her guitar case. Looking at him was nearly impossible; she knew she'd break into tears the moment she saw his face. Would those icy eyes still be there? Would those cruel words echo from his handsome lips again?

Bella closed her eyes, trying to stop her trembling and keep herself from falling apart in front of Marc. She was just about to sling her case over her back and walk away from what she'd believed was finally her happily ever after, when his fingers slid around her wrist. Her breath caught and it took her a moment to process what was happening as he pulled her closer to himself, a place that should've been like home to her. But, it was still foreign. All of it was...

"You don't deserve this, Bella. You're a bitch... you don't deserve him. Even he thinks that," the morbid slice of her mind whispered as Marc's fingers forced her head up. His lips felt warm and comforting against hers, and they were the one thing that did feel familiar. But Bella held herself back, the words from their fight screaming at her as his intensity increased. "No, Bella. Just relax," she said to herself, trying to melt into Marc's embrace like she'd done thousands of times before. But this was so very different. There were new things to pound through her head as his lips touched hers, as his arms pulled her closer and his lips moved with more passion and emotion against hers. She stood entirely still, trying her hardest to fall back into the normal way this should've gone. Bella should've trusted him with all her heart, and this should've come so easily to her. But it couldn't.

Her eyes closed as his forehead leaned against hers, but she still didn't dare to move. She still couldn't believe this was actually happening. Bella couldn't even bare looking into his eyes. Those dark, tell-tale eyes. They'd rip another chunk of her away. And, maybe, it'd be the right piece to finally send her tumbling down for good.

"I am still in love with you..."

Bella's heart did a little flip as his words filled her mind. He... he still loved her? She automatically opened her mouth to say it back. If she did, maybe it would fix everything. Maybe they'd be normal again. But... she stopped midway. No, they wouldn't be normal again. And... no, he couldn't love her, not after everything he'd called her, everything he'd pointed out that was bad about her. "Y-You don't love me. You think I'm a... a..." Bella couldn't even choke out the entire word. It hurt too much as the scene freshly replayed in her mind.

"Clearly none of zhat matters to a materialistic, stuck up little bitch like you!"

The words sliced her heart all over again, and Bella suddenly regretted even coming here. She had no right to, not unless she wanted her heart broken all over again. But, it looked like that was what was going to happen. "You c-can't love me," she whispered, covering her face with her hands and sitting back down on the window sill. Her hair hid her from his view again, and Bella couldn't stop the soft sobs that shook her shoulders. He didn't love her; he couldn't. Why had she even hoped that he would?

She shook her head when he said congrats to her on getting the job. She'd gotten it because of him. Everything was because of him. "I only got it because of you," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around herself and getting back up. Bella unzipped the front pocket of her guitar case, the little teddy bear she'd bought practically falling out as she did so. There was no need to keep this, so she might as well give it up. At least somebody would be happy, then. Maybe.

Bella grabbed the little bear, walking over to the door where Laurence stood. She kneeled down in front of him, very gently offering him the toy. "Pour vous, le miel," she whispered to him, a tiny, weak smile on her lips. "Maybe at least one of you won't hate me," she added, knowing the child probably couldn't understand her. But at least she'd said it to someone.

• • •

WORDS: 1103!
TAG: Her Prince Charming <3
LOCATION: The Hallway, Outside His Office
OUTFIT: TEDDY BEAR!
LYRICS: "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
NOTES: "For you, honey" & SHE DIDN'T CALL HIM IT ONCE! :D

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

Most people would…well he didn’t know what most people would do in this situation. It wasn’t like there was a society for people in his position; suddenly a parent, screaming match with your girlfriend in JFK and living in a hotel whilst you try to get some perspective on your life. Anyone would admit that all of them things, combined did not bode well for a happy reunion when the time came to deal with one.
Marc’s heart thought differently though. It didn’t believe that half of that stuff should matter if they could work things out, talk about it like adults and then try to make…whatever this was work.

He didn’t want to lose Bella; he was willing to do anything to keep her here, with him, including kidnapping her-at least so she’d stay and talk to him and hear the full story before she left. He didn’t want them to part at all, but especially not on bad terms when so many things were left unsaid, apologies to be spoken and explanations to be given.
He felt terrible for everything he had yelled at her. Marc never meant it, not really. His exhaustion, frustration and Bella’s temper had brought out the worst in him and unleashed some kind of demon that Marc didn’t even know existed within him. The words were the harshest he could think up of and whilst Bella was dramatic and sometimes reacted a little too strongly, jumping to conclusions before the explanations were given, he still loved her; something that Marc knew would never change. He loved her for it, even if it drove him to the edge of his patience at times.

She didn’t kiss him back though, and the faint flicker of hope was extinguished just like that. He knew that one kiss couldn’t change everything and that there had to be some serious work put into their relationship to fix everything that had happened, but he honestly expected her to kiss back, if only for a fraction of a second. The kiss only made him see just how much things had changed between them in such a short period of time and it really annoyed him. They had had two blissful years without anything coming between them and here they were, breaking down at the first obstacle thrown in the path of their relationship. Okay, it was a pretty big obstacle, but still, they had promised to overcome everything and to do it together and surely that included this…this mess.
Even if it was just a conversation to end everything, Marc would rather them have it now, clear the air between them both so that the regrets shrunk at least; Marc’s regrets would never fully disappear, he knew that.

He could hear the pain in her voice and he knew that he had caused it all. He hadn’t done it intentionally, but when he snapped and every frustration, fear and pain manifested itself into some verbal monster, it had landed every punch, unfairly, on Bella. If he could take it back then he would have done already, because he didn’t mean the things he said and she needed to know that, even if she was unable to forgive him for it.
“I do Bella. I love you more zhan vords can ever say.”

[/color] He swallowed and reached out again, this time resting his hand gently on her cheek, thumb brushing over her soft skin. “I never meant zee things zhat I said. You do not ‘ave to believe me, but I need you to know zee truth. Zee truth eez zhat I love you so much, even vhen you drive me crazy, I still love you, ma Cherie.”[/color] He felt his heart breaking all over again as he told her his feelings, hoping that she wouldn’t run away from him now and vanish out of his life forever. He wanted so badly to be able to fix things between them.

When he saw how she shook, it didn’t take him more than a millisecond to realise that she was crying. Instinctively, he sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her. He didn’t want her to cry and especially not over him. Soothingly, he whispered little things in French to her, trying to stop the flow of tears in the way that he always used to before all this drama tore them apart. “I said, terrible things to you Bella, but I meant none of zhem. I vas upset and scared…I vas falling apart and I…zhere are no excuses, but if I only know one thing in zhis entire vorld, eet eez zhat I love you.”[/color] He’d say it as many times as she needed to hear it; more if he thought it would change things between them.

He watched as she moved to where Laurence stood. The small boy stepped back slightly, still shy around meeting new people; especially ones who had screamed at and slapped his father. When Bella offered him the teddy, dark eyes moved to look at Marc and once his father smiled a sad smile and nodded, Laurence took the teddy from Bella’s hand and hugged it close to his chest. Her words, spoken in English, stabbed him hard though and he moved closer to her again. “I do not ‘ate you Bella. I never ‘ave.”[/color] This was not the best place for this conversation and whilst he wanted everything to fix itself with a click of his fingers, he knew it was impossible. “Please, Bella, let’s go inside my office and talk. If you are leaving, I vant you to know zee tuth. I vant to answer every question and be honest vith you. I owe eet to you, at least.”[/color]
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 996
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Arabella Marie Curtis]

Bella had been having a hard time accepting this entire situation. She'd expected Marc to return with a lot of crap on his shoulders, something she'd honestly hoped to be helping with. But, she hadn't been counting on a kid. A kid that was his son. The entire story was unbelievable, totally unrealistic. And... she knew, deep down in her heart, that every single word of it was true. Marc wouldn't lie to her; he'd never done it in the past, and Bella knew he wouldn't do it in the future. She didn't like the half-truths, though, and that was why she'd pounced on him so readily. She also didn't feel like she deserved any truths after what had happened. Not after she'd basically screamed at Marc in front of his son, without even waiting for some form of the truth that she'd been waiting for for two weeks now.

Truthfully, though, she didn't hate Laurence at all. Not really. He was an innocent little six year old who had watched some insane chick flip out on his father the moment they landed in New York. Bella had wondered if she'd ruined even the smallest chance at a relationship with the boy now that he'd seen both her and Marc at their worst. But, that was what Bella did. She pulled the frustration and anger out of Marc, stirred some life into the well mannered nerd who she knew would never dream of screaming at her like that. Frankly, however, she hated every moment of it herself. She didn't like the screaming, or everything he'd called her. She didn't like how she'd reacted to everything herself.

And... Bella guessed that was what had led her here today, to NYU, to Marc. She wanted to make up for it in some way, but she couldn't figure out how for the life of her. The teddy bear and the song were the best her frazzled, heart broken mind had been able to come up with, but she still didn't feel like it was enough. Nothing would be enough to make up for the terrible way she'd treated him. Why did she even believe he'd want her back? He had a son now, a most likely upset family, and a stable job that she knew would keep him happy. She'd seen first hand how the students always caused a smile to be on his face, and Bella knew it'd turn him into a great father.

But where the hell would she be in all of it?

Bella's lip quivered as Marc pulled back from her, but she didn't know what to do. She was afraid even the tiniest movement would be too much, too little, too something. She didn't want to screw this up, and every move she made was vital to it going well. If this crumbled around her, too... Bella didn't know what she'd do.

Her eyes met his as his hand gently rested her cheek, and she couldn't stop herself from leaning into the warmth she had missed with all her heart. The tears bit at her eyes as he spoke, and Bella sniffled very softly. How could he love her? She'd been spoiled, conceited... and entirely unconsiderate about this whole situation. How could he even still have any feeling but hate towards her? But Bella did love him. She loved him with all her heart and soul, and even a life filled with thousands upon thousands of adoring fans and spotlights, wouldn't be able to fill the gaping hole he'd leave in her heart if this ended up being their good bye.

"I... I love you, too. So much," she whispered, very, very slowly turning her head to press her lips against the inside of his wrist. "Y-You should be with someone who doesn't drive you crazy, though. Someone who won't... who won't ever act like I did," she mumbled, forcing the words past her lips as she stepped back from him and went to pack away her beloved instrument. It was taking everything Bella had to not give into him. But, she couldn't. She wasn't good enough for him; she was too childish for someone like him. Someone mature and strong... and everything she wasn't.

Bella's body tensed as his arms slid around her, reminding her that she shouldn't be crying, not in front of him. She was making everything about her again. Like she always did. Like she had been trying not to do anymore. "I just wanted to know what was going on... I-I wanted to help you like you always did for me," she choked out, pulling away from his tender embrace again. Bella didn't deserve it; she didn't deserve any of his sympathies. Not anymore.

The little smile increased a smidge as Laurence took the bear from Bella. His eyes, though... they were just like Marc's. Everything about the boy was like Marc. It broke Bella's heart even more as she stood up, closing her eyes as Marc spoke to her. He did hate her; he had every reason to. He'd screamed at her, called her a bitch... and stormed away from her. He did hate her, no matter how many times he said he loved her.

She hiccuped, biting her lip sharply and going back to her guitar on the window sill. "I don't want to know anymore. I don't care," she said, gulping down the emotions that were threatening to choke her while she spoke. "I-I came to say I was sorry for being... for being a bitch to you. And to give you the apartment before I left. You don't owe me anything. Not now," she said, keeping her back to him as she spoke. Bella slung her guitar over her shoulder, finally turning around and looking at him with devastation and love written clearly on her face.

"But I will go do this. Spare you the frustration of seeing my face everywhere," she whispered, silently walking past Laurence into Marc's office and directly up to his desk. The picture frames containing some of their happiest memories wrung her heart, but she'd smash them the moment she got off the plane in California. It would be some form of closure, at least. Bella picked them up with shaking hands, hugging them to her chest as the tears streamed down her face.

She'd screwed this up. She should've said she was sorry sooner, not taken the spotlight. Again. She should've been more worried about Marc or Laurence than about her broken heart.

But Bella was selfish... something she knew Marc agreed with now, as well.

• • •

WORDS: 1195!
TAG: Her Prince Charming <3
LOCATION: The Hallway, Outside His Office
OUTFIT: TEDDY BEAR!
LYRICS: "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
NOTES: <3 <3 <3

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

If there was one thing about Bella that Marc both loved and disliked, it was her stubbornness. He loved that she knew what she wanted and what she believed in and it was really admirable that she wouldn’t stand down. It was also, possibly, the reason why they were here to begin with, and right now it was making him want to bash his head against the brick wall he was leaning again. She seemed to have come here today with the determination to say goodbyes and to close the door, for good, on their relationship. Now, as Marc subtly tried to convince her otherwise, she was still being stubborn about not staying with him…at least that was how it sounded to him.
He was standing there, telling her over and over again that he loved her and she was pushing him away as best as she could but he knew, he knew that this wasn’t what she really wanted. If it was, then she would’ve looked him in the eye instead of looking everywhere but.

She was a damn good actress, but she didn’t have it going for her today, which was all Marc needed to see to prove to him that this really wasn’t how things were supposed to end between them. It gave him the confidence he needed to fight for this, to at least make her listen to everything that he had to say before she was to leave for California…and if she was just running away because she was scared, then he’d chase her. Marc would chase her across the globe again, trek through the deserts and freeze in the mountains if that was what it would take. Until he heard the words “I do not want to be with you or Laurence” he would keep fighting, keeping pushing and keep proving to Bella how sorry he was and just how much he would do to make this work between them.

A child was a big thing, and he knew it would take her longer than it had taken him to adjust to Laurence being around, but Marc knew that she could do it and that together, they could be a family. It wasn’t going to be easy and yes, they’d probably have many more screaming matches over the years but Marc knew with all of his heart that Bella was his forever and he didn’t want to screw this up and he didn’t want her to screw it up either, which was why, the move he would make in a few short moments may have been the most irrational, yet rational thing he had done in his whole life.

He smiled softly and stepped closer, so that he was standing right behind her as she tried to pack up her guitar. “Vhere vould be zee fun in zhat? Bella, if you did not drive me crazy from time to time zhen ve vould be so predictable zhat I vould ‘ave grown bored years ago. Ve both acted stupid, ma Cherie, but zhis does not ‘ave to be goodbye.”

[/color] He whispered to her, every word sincere and honest. He didn’t want her to go and he simply couldn’t let her go; his heart wouldn’t allow him to.

He sighed. Marc knew Bella had the right intentions; it was just the way in which everything finally happened that turned the airport into more of a nightmare. Marc was still surprised that security didn’t move in to deal with the situation, but then they had moved rapidly towards the exit, whilst still screaming at each other like there was no tomorrow. “I know, ma Cherie. I just did not expect to see you zhere and eet caught me off guard. I vas going to come and see you once I ‘ad someone to look after Laurence for a few hours, I swear.”[/color] He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and swallowed. “I vas going to tell you everything, I just needed to get my ‘ead together first. I did not vant Laurence to see vhat ‘ee did.”[/color] He wasn’t blaming Bella, just trying to explain why he had been acting so awkward and weird when she had shown up, unannounced at JFK.

Marc smiled as he watched his son take the toy from her. See, this could work! It was a small gesture, a tiny step, but it was a start and they could move on from here until everything was better again! He’d spend a few more night at The Plaza if that would help and slowly build up their trust and understanding of each other again. It was going to be hard for Bella, he knew that, but he knew that she could do this, she could play the maternal role once she grew accustomed to it.

He was about to speak again, tell her that she wasn’t a bitch and that he was sorry for keeping her in the dark to begin with. He had thought he was doing the right thing, but clearly it wasn’t and that was why Bella had gone off the rails to start with. She was already walking into his office though and he followed her in, watching in bemusement as she gathered up the pictures he kept on his desk and shelf. It took him a moment, but he realised quickly enough what she was doing and it was in that moment that his romantic heart took over, reminding him that he had to do everything in his power to keep her from leaving.

The best way to do that?

His hand reached out and closed the door over and in one swift movement, he turned the key in the back of it, locking it shut, before pulling the small brass object from the lock and dropping it into the depths of his pocket.

“Zhen fine. I vant to tell you everything and I am not opening zhis door until ve ‘ave talked about zhis and you ‘ave come to your senses.”[/color] He strode across the room until he was standing in front of her and then gently began to ease the frames from her arms, placing them back where they had originally been. “Stop zhis, stop running and sit down. I am not letting you go until you believe zhat I love you with every fibre of my being. And zhen, I am not letting you go, period, until you can look me in zee eye, without a single tear and honestly tell me, zhat you never want to see me again and zhat you do not love me anymore.”[/color] There was no way that Marc was about to back down and let her go so easily.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 1162
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Arabella Marie Curtis]

Now, Bella had her mind set on running. She was going to sprint as calmly as possible off the NYU campus, pack up the rest of Marc's things in the apartment, then pack up all of her own belongings and turn the key over to the building owner. She was going to do her call back, and she was going to be in California by the end of next week. Her mind was set on it, which meant it was definitely happening.

Unless one person decided to stop it.

Bella wanted to stay here in New York and live out the life her and Marc had spoken about back in London. She wanted the beautiful wedding they'd lightly dreamed about, the spectacular honeymoon, the adoring children. It was all so amazing. And, a few months ago, Bella would've said that it was definitely her near future. Marc would be, and so would their happily ever after. But, it had all crumbled around her as she'd stared at Laurence in the airport. One of Bella's deepest fears had suddenly sprung to life, and it had been sitting in Marc's arms, clinging to him like his life depended on it.

She had planned on doing so much before becoming a mother. To her child, or to any other woman's. Perform on Broadway, travel to Alaska, see the world with Marc by her side. Bella had planned on doing it all and more. But, now? What would this mean? Sure, she'd missed a lot of the terrible age of baby-dom, changing diapers, and teething. But, how would she handle getting to know the boy, being a mother to him, and trying to reach for her own dreams all at the same time? Bella didn't know what she'd do. She didn't even know if she was welcome to be in his life anymore.

It was all up to Marc. Everything was.

If she went to California, she wouldn't have to become a mother. She'd fall "in love" with some co-star or other, live and breathe theatre, and be entirely devoted and focused on her strongest passion. If she stayed in New York, she'd be free of Clairice for a few months, possibly begin to set up house with her beloved Marc, and maybe even land some shorter roles on an off-Broadway stage. It'd be heaven. But only if things were made up with Marc and they could go back to some form of their lovey-dovey relationship that had been cruelly ripped from them in such a short amount of time.

Bella's hands shook as she struggled with her guitar case, and the tears were getting worse as she felt Marc move closer to her. "You said goodbye to me at the airport. I'm still selfish, I'm still not mature enough, I'm still the same person I was three days ago. You said goodbye to me then," she said, gulping as she finished. Her guitar safely placed in her case, Bella rested her hand on the top of it, biting her tongue as hard as she could. Was she purposelly shoving him away like this?

Honestly... yeah, she was. A small piece of Bella wanted Marc to feel the sharp pains she'd felt in the last couple weeks. She wanted him to be in the dark about something big in her life, see how he liked it now that he'd forced her through it. She wanted him to be as miserable as she'd been, and then come talk to her about being upset and frustrated and exhausted.

"I didn't know he was there until I showed up. I didn't know about any of it," she whispered, trying hard to take the edge off her voice. Bella had only wanted to surprise him, to see him and not spend the entire day or night restlessly waiting in the apartment for him. All of it had been innocent... until they'd both exploded at the airport and caused the scene that they did.

As Bella stepped away from Laurence, she couldn't help wishing that he was in fact her child. Her and Marc's, that is. Their life could've been perfect; like a movie, almost. But... she'd blown it when she'd slapped Marc in the airport, when he'd snapped back in return. They'd ruined every chance at their happily ever after then... she had.

That was the one thought screaming through her mind as she picked up all of the pictures that included her. She wished she could smile about them; the dorky ones they had taken in this place or other. The ones from London, the ones from New York. It was their life... together. And that's why she was picking them up. They were over. He'd finally realized she wasn't good enough, and they were over.

Or so she thought.

Bella blinked in shock as she heard the door close and lock, leaving her trapped between a wall, desk, and Marc. She stared at him, eyes flashing momentarily as she realized what he was doing. He wasn't going to let her leave until he'd forced all these, now unwanted, truths upon her. But, there was no way in fucking hell she was going to sit through another lesson about how much of a child she was. That was what she thought this was, anyways. She was still not accepting the fact that, yes, Marc still loved her. And, yes, he wanted her back.

She frowned, nearly glaring at him as he pryed the photos and memories from her arms. Her broken eyes watched him place them back into their original places, and she simply stood in silence as he already began the lecture she was expecting. Why was he sticking to this "I still love you" shit? Obviously, he didn't. Obviously, he thought she was childish and unable to handle the obstacles being thrown into her path.

"Why should I stay and listen? I don't want to know anymore; there's no point. There's nothing to talk about," she said, still standing as he commaded her to sit down. Bella wasn't one of his students; she had no obligations to do what he told her to.

Her shoulders straightened as his final words ended. Bella could do that... she could lie to him. She could. "Yeah right, Bells." "I love you, I always will. But I'm leaving," she whispered, staring straight into the eyes she loved so, so much. Bella walked up to him, closing her eyes and reaching up onto her tip toes as if to press her lips to his one more time...

But her hand reached into his pocket the next second, easily fishing the key out within split seconds. She raced towards the door, flying past Laurence and trying her best not to trip over his toys as she stumbled to unlock the door and run from the only person she'd ever love more than herself.

• • •

WORDS: 1224!
TAG: Her Prince Charming <3
LOCATION: The Hallway, Outside His Office
OUTFIT: TEDDY BEAR!
LYRICS: "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
NOTES: <3 <3 <3

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

Things had deviated far from the plan Marc had originally imagined for him and Bella and their life in New York. They had survived two years before coming here with little or no problems and now it was like everything was crumbling around them; the idealist future in which they grew old, had children, both reached their personal career goals, fulfilled their ambitions and lived exactly how they had envisioned. Nowhere in that plan was Daphne’s death, the discovery of Marc’s son Laurence, their horrific confrontation at the airport or…this, whatever this was. Bella seemed ready to run regardless of what Marc said, yet he was refusing to let go so easily.

If she really wanted to leave, then she wouldn’t have come here today. She would have just left for California without uttering another word to him and after everything that had happened at the airport, it was what he expected her to do. Turning up here today only meant one thing in Marc’s mind; that she wanted him to fight for her to stay. It was the battle Marc had feared may one day drive a wedge between them, but one that he had been mentally thinking about and preparing for since their relationship began; the battle between him and the stage. Bella’s passion for acting was admirable and he loved her for it, but he always knew that one day she would be stuck between him and her career and it would be at that moment in time that the reality of their relationship and of her true devotions would be revealed.

He refused to back down though. The circumstances were far different from what he had originally imagined, but that didn’t mean that his feelings were any different. Yes, he was a father, but he still loved Bella and as childish and as bratty as it seemed, he wanted both to be in his life; Laurence and Bella, and there was no reason why that couldn’t happen if Bella would give this another chance, which was something he truly believed she wanted to do. Why else would she still be here if this really was just goodbye?

Instinctively, Marc reached out and wiped away her tears with his thumb. He didn’t like seeing her this upset and he wanted to do everything possible to make her feel better again. “Three days ago, I vas exhausted, upset and in shock. Bella, zee last thing I vant eez to let you go. I love you, despite everything zhat vas said between us and zhis eez not zee end for us and vhat ve ‘ad.”

[/color] If she walked away from here and went to California, he was going to give up. He would love her for the rest of his life, but he had Laurence to consider and he couldn’t start trekking across a country he was so unfamiliar with when his son would need him in New York, clearheaded and ready to play the doting father that he was turning into.

He reached up, cradling her face in his hands as he tried to make her understand his words. “I know, ma Cherie, I know. I did not vish for you to find out about Laurence like zhat. I know zhat you are upset about me not telling you before I returned, but I did not vant us to ‘ave zhat conversation over zee phone.”[/color] He kissed her forehead in the same way that he always had done. “If I ‘ad known zhat you vould be zhere, zhen, I do not know, but I vould ‘ave tried to find a better vay for you to find out about all of zhis.”[/color] He didn’t know what it was that he could’ve done, but there had to have been something that could’ve helped them avoid the public display of angst and pain in the middle of arrivals.

His moves were bordering on extreme now and locking her in his office may be pushing the mark just a slight bit, but he refused to let her go without making her see and accept how he really felt about her. Currently, she was being stubborn and refusing to hear his words, but this time Marc was determined to keep his cool. There was no need for another fight and if it resulted in one, then there was really no point in keeping these games up just to leave each other hurting even more and their hearts even more shattered.

“Zhere eez everything to talk about. Bella, please, I do not vant us to go like zhis. I do not vant us to go at all.”[/color] He said honestly, looking into her teary eyes and trying to convey all the love that he had for her in one simple look. He had to move quickly when she fished the key from his pocket and push back the disappointment that she hadn’t actually kissed him. As she tried to unlock the door, and almost succeeded with that plan, Marc threw himself as the solid piece of oak, pushing his weight against the door to keep it closed. He wasn’t letting her get away that easily. “Why are you leaving? Why are you so determined to run away from me, from zhis, from us?”[/color]
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 918
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Arabella Marie Curtis]

Bella wanted her life back. She wanted her Marc back, her job, her everything. She wanted the normal they'd had a few weeks ago. The good morning kisses, the random lunch dates, the cuddling up for a movie. It was all being ripped away in less than a heart beat, and Bella didn't know what to do. They couldn't exactly rewind and pretend none of this drama never happened, especially not those fights. Bella knew the one in JFK would be eating away at her for forever. It was their worst one ever, despite all these excuses Marc kept making about not meaning anything of what he'd said. To her, he'd meant ever goddamn word. She finally got to see how he really saw her, and it'd shattered her heart on the spot. He thought she was a selfish bitch. And, for fuck's sake, that's what she was going to be as soon as she stepped off the plane in California. She was going to bitch at every person she saw, she was going to do whatever the hell she wanted. She was going to become the next Clairice and turn her heart to solid, icy stone. The Bella from London and New York would be gone; it'd be the harsh actress' facade shielding the dying girl beneath it all. This Bella, the weak one, she'd be gone. And then Marc could really call her a bitch.

But, every word he kept saying now... it was breaking her. Granted, it was extremely slowly, but it was still chipping away at the wall that had been building around her emotions since their fight. That stubborn nature of hers just wouldn't let her give in yet. It was reminding her of everything he'd said, everything he hated about her. And, at the moment, all of those were outweighing the things he'd always said he loved.

Bella shook his hand off when he tried to wipe at her tears, turning her face out of his grasp. "I've gathered that my surprises never go as planned. They never work," she said sadly, hanging her head. He always did so many things for her out of the blue. Cooked for her, showed up out of nowhere with lunch, whisked her away for romantic weekends, bought her the most expensive and beautiful jewelry he could find. And, yet, she couldn't even pull off a simple surprise greeting at the airport without some tragedy falling upon them. Even now, everything was flipping directions. She'd hoped for him to smile a little when he saw her in the hallway - not look at her in the accusatory way that made it seem she'd done something wrong by showing up here. Nothing she did for him ever worked out perfectly, no matter how hard she tried or how much effort she put into making it work.

She couldn't pull her face out of his soft hands this time, and her eyes couldn't help staring back into his as he spoke. They closed when his lips pressed to her forehead, bringing a bit of warmth to her freezing heart. "I... I didn't think you were coming back," she whispered, tears leaking down her cheeks as she opened her eyes to look at him. Bella had to memorize his face now; this was probably the last time she'd ever get to see him again. Well, she'd thought that numerous times in the past couple weeks, as well. But this time, she kept telling herself it was for real. "I thought you were going to stay out there, a-and that's why you kept blowing me off. I missed you, that's why I went... I didn't think you'd even come see me," she whispered, trying to keep her voice from cracking too often as the emotions slammed into her. "I was right, though. You didn't want me. Y-You're gonna go back home to them with-with Laurence and you'll make me stay here," she mumbled, forcing herself to step away from him again. What made her think he wouldn't vanish again like that? That this would happen all over, and she'd just end up holding him back from where he really wanted to be: in Arles with his family... where Daphne had been. Bella kept repeating to herself that Marc loved all of them more than he loved her, that she shouldn't be even considering him wanting to stay. He wanted to go back to Arles... back to a place she believed she'd never be welcome.

Bella choked on a sob as she struggled with the door's lock, swearing and calling herself every name in the book as her shaking hands refused to cooperate. She had to run; she had to forget about all of this. California was waiting for her, waiting to make her the star she'd always dreamed of being. Staying here with Marc, well, that wouldn't lead to anything. At least, she was trying to convince herself of that.

As his body slammed into the door, keeping it closed, Bella couldn't help from jumping slightly. She knew he was aware her strength was no match for his, which was probably why he'd done this in the first place. But, Bella still couldn't understand why he was trapping her here. "Dammit, Marc," she muttered, closing her eyes tightly as he spoke. She shook her head, opening her eyes and looking at him with all the pain that was consuming her heart and mind. "Because I'm not good enough," she whispered. "You don't think I am anymore, I'm never going to be. I c-can't be a mom. I wouldn't know the first thing to do! You know that's true! I'm-I'm too selfish... I'm a bitch, just like you said," she sniffled, turning away from him and walking to the other side of the room. Bella covered her face with her hands, trying to hide her tears from him as best she could. If he wasn't going to let her out, she was just going to stay out of his reach and cry herself sick.

• • •

WORDS: 1100!
TAG: Her Prince Charming <3
LOCATION: Crying, His Office
OUTFIT: TEDDY BEAR!
LYRICS: "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
NOTES: <3 <3 <3

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

He couldn’t lie. Despite everything that had happened and the state of his relationship with Bella, Marc was kind of happy about having Laurence in his life. Sure, things were complicated and originally he hadn’t had the faintest clue that his son even existed, but at the same time, there was something stirring inside of him that made him proud every time he looked at that little boy. He couldn’t put it into words; English or French, but he could feel it. That feeling though, it didn’t make it better. It didn’t cure the pain of Bella being here now, trying to push him away even more. He wanted her back, and he wanted them to start trying to make things work together – the three of them. Maybe it wouldn’t work, maybe it would cause more problems, but he wanted them to try it. After everything they’ve been through since London and all the promises that they had made to each other, he didn’t want them to give it up, throw away everything that they had worked for and everything that they had achieved.

Laurence was oblivious to everything that had happened between him and Bella and the little boy was struggling to adapt to the new changes; something that staying in the hotel wasn’t really helping with. There was little Marc could do right away, but now, now there was a glimmer of hope that they could find a way to make the small French boy more comfortable in the strange city. Maybe taking him away from Arles and everything he knew wasn’t the best of ideas but Marc couldn’t just abandon his life, abandon Bella…okay, maybe it backfired on him, but they were here now and he wasn’t about to run away from NYC just because his girlfriend may have bailed on him and their relationship after his totally unacceptable, uncharacteristic and unnecessary explosion in the middle of JFK.
The whole thing had been a mess, the whole situation was unwanted and hated, but there was every chance that they could fix it now and move on together. She had come to him, right? So that had to mean that she wanted to fix this, to repair the mess that was their relationship. He had to be hopeful. “I do not know vhat zhis eez, but I vas pleasantly surprised today, Bella.”

[/color] True, Bella’s surprises had recently been on the worse side of good, but that didn’t mean she was useless at them. Marc just enjoyed surprising her as much as possible, just for the smile on her face and the way her eyes lit up.

Marc held her face in his hands and smiled softly at how she was still his Bella; she was still the same girl who he fallen in love with in London and the same girl who believed that her world was going to fall apart in the same dramatic way of a character on the stage of a Broadway show. “Ma Cherie, I promised you zhat I vould always come back to you and I meant zhat. I did not realise zhat I vould ‘ave a child in tow, but I still meant it.[/color] He sighed, licking his lips as he gazed into her eyes, brushing his thumb along her jaw as he moved his hand down to nest under her dark locks of hair. “You are wrong. I do vant you and I always vill. Bella, I love you more zhan I could ever put into words. And I am not going back to Arles. I vas looking for a school for Laurence right vhen you arrived; a school ‘ere, in New York. And I’m trying to make you stay ‘ere because zhis is vhere I vill be and, I do not vant you lose you, ever. You mean more to me zhan I vill ever know.”[/color]

He has to smile slightly at her frustration when he threw he weight against the door to stop her from leaving. It was the way that she closed her eyes, resigned to him winning this round so far. She couldn’t go anywhere now until he moved, which meant that she had to listen to what he had to say and until she had heard everything and then convinced him that she was still adamant on leaving for California, then he was staying put, pressed against the wood of the door like it was the only way he could survive.
However, he hated hearing what she had to say, how she felt about herself in this situation. It was the last thing that he had wanted to hear and it hurt him more than the idea of her leaving. She wasn’t good enough? How wrong could she be? To Marc, Bella was pretty much everything, aside from Laurence, of course. He didn’t want to be without her, regardless of what happened in their lives and he would chase her to the end of the world if he had to, if that would make her happy.
“And you think zhat I know zee first thing about being a papa? I am blundering my vay through zhis Bella and just ‘oping zhat I can make a ‘ome for Laurence. You do not ‘ave to get everything right, no one ever does. But, Bella, you are perfect to me and you always vill be. Please, forget vhat I said, I did not mean it. I vould like to be able to explain everything to you, if you vill listen and zhen maybe we can figure zhis out vith us. Bella, I do not vant you to leave and I do not vant you to think zhat I do not love you, because I do…more zhan you vill ever know.”[/color] He reached out for her hand, hoping that she saw and heard the sincerity in his words.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 1,016
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Arabella Marie Curtis]

Bella didn't know what to think anymore. The resolve she'd had before coming here had been to try and fix things, and, if they were entirely too broken to even try to repair, she'd move on to California and a chance at the life she'd always been dreaming about. But, now, now she had no idea what was happening. Part of her wanted to stay and believe that the entire disaster at the airport had been a lie, that Marc really hadn't meant anything of what he'd said. The other part of her kept saying he had meant every single word, and had purposely delivered each verbal blow. But, that wasn't Marc. That wasn't the Marc she'd fallen in love with, the she thought herself to know like the back of her hand. The anger, the screaming, the tears; none of this was either of them. So, why couldn't she believe that it had merely been their - hers in particular - flaring in an uncharacteristic fashion? It was because each and every word he'd said was still echoing through her head, reminding her of why he had every goddamned reason to leave and go back to Arles, to where he'd found love a first time, to where his son's home was. She'd been telling herself for weeks now that he'd leave her... and now he had given her even more reasons to believe he would.

Bella's body froze as he spoke, and a faint flicker of hope flashed through her heart. "You... you were?" she whispered, peeking up at him hesitantly. Maybe... maybe she'd done something right in coming here. Maybe this surprise would work, afterall, unlike the rest of her failed ones. And, god, had she tried. But, Bella couldn't find anything that she thought would thrill him. He had every video game known to man, and he bought the latest ones before she even had a chance to know they were out, let alone buy him one. Clothes had never been his thing, and Bella knew he was content with his smallish wardrobe. A guy could only own so many watches, and she had no clue what to buy when it came to computers. It left her in a ditch, dazed and confused. What could she do to surprise him, really surprise him so much that he'd love her all the more for it? Bella had never been able to think of anything, no matter how many nights she layed awake in Marc's arms while he slept. Nothing seemed good enough for him; not even her.

She leaned her face gently into his hands, her eyes glistening with the tears she was trying to hold inside her. "But you ran away, and I thought it was my fault. You wouldn't tell me why; I-I thought you were mad at me, that you didn't want to come back," she answered, trying to absorb some comfort from his strong fingers traveling over her skin and reaching around her to play with her hair. Bella loved when he played with her hair, she always had. And, in return, she usually wound her fingers in his curls, cuddling up to his chest or tucking the unruly locks out of his eyes. But, she shook the thoughts off, refusing to linger on them. They'd push her even more towards staying. "'Always do that', 'always do this'. Stop making promises to me," she whispered, putting one hand on his chest to try and make him shut up. He kept promising her everything; that he'd always come back, that he'd always want her, that he'd always love her. "How can I mean that much to you? I did everything wrong; I-I made you scream at me and run away and..." she pulled away from him again, stepping out of his embrace as the tears spilled over her eyes and silently down her cheeks. "You don't need someone like me around," she mumbled, shaking her head and hiding behind her thick curtain of hair. He didn't need her, he never would. She wasn't good enough for someone like him, wasn't worth even considering keeping around. Now she just had to keep telling herself that.

Bella knew there was no point in fighting Marc. He'd have her pinned against something in a matter of simple seconds. He was that much bigger than her, that much stronger. And, besides, she trained to make herself heard without a microphone on and on how to slip into the shoes of any character thrown at her. She was not taught how to physically fight. And, breaking down the door wasn't a logical option, either. It looked like she had only one choice left: to stay and listen to whatever the hell he had to say.

“I ‘ope for zee child’s sake zhat you’re not pregnant..." Marc didn't want her to be a mother, especially not to his child. Bella wouldn't be able to handle it; she was too much of a child herself, he'd said so countless times now. Why did he suddenly think she could do this? "You don't think I'll make a good mother," she answered softly, hanging her head as his past words taunted her mind. Bella wasn't maternal material; even he'd said that. And who was she to disagree when he was most obviously doing great at being a parent? "You did mean it. Every word. The truth always comes out when people are mad," she replied, her jaw setting stubbornly. Bella knew he had to have meant everything... he'd promised countless times he'd never lie to her. Did that somehow not include their run-in at JFK?

Bella stared at his hand for a long moment, debating taking it. He sounded so much like her Marc... like the one who always knew how to calm her down and make her feel better, not so worthless and broken. But, how could he mean he'd wanted her to stay? It'd been him who told her to go for the job... that that was why she couldn't go to Arles, because she'd miss this big audition. "You told me to do it, the audition. You told me to go," she whispered, eyes flickering up to him as she wrapped her arms around herself. And then her eyes widened. What if he never even thought she'd get it? Sure, Clairice had auditioned as well, but that didn't mean her chances were down. But, surely, surely Marc believed in her more than that. This was all just some stupid idea popping into her mind full of insecurities. And, she had to put some of them to rest before she left for California.

She very carefully set her guitar down on the floor, running a hand over the worn out case before standing up and staring straight into Marc's eyes, hers set with determination now. She'd make it through this one way or another, even if it killed her in doing so. "I'm not good enough for you to love," she said again, shaking her head but going to sit down on the floor, close to his desk. Bella refused to sit in the chair; it'd make her feel like she was in fact being yelled at by some professor. And, honestly, she felt ashamed and childish enough as it was. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Bella crossed her arms over her stomach, waiting for him to begin whatever story he seemed so eager to explain to her.

• • •

WORDS: 1351!
TAG: Her Prince Charming <3
LOCATION: The Hallway, Outside His Office
OUTFIT: TEDDY BEAR!
LYRICS: "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
NOTES: <3 <3 <3

[Marc Dominique Delabarre]

Marc didn’t know what was happening right now. Bella had come here to…what, exactly? She kept acting as though she wanted to leave the room and New York forever, but at the same time, she didn’t seem to be fighting so much to get away from him when he tried to make her stay, convince her that he was sorry for what he said, that he didn’t mean it, that he wanted them to work things out so they could try to make their relationship work. He didn’t know what she wanted him to say and his head was hurting from the many things racing through his head; the arguments for her to stay, the things he wanted to say to her…everything. He couldn’t let her go and he wouldn’t! They were meant to be together and she knew that as well as he did, he knew she did! She was just being stubborn, she had to be, surely? No one would walk away like this and she seemed alright around Laurence now; she had given him a teddy bear and you didn’t give a teddy bear to a child who you didn’t want to see or hear of again!

He smiled softly, stepping closer again and resting his hand on her cheek, looking at her with so much affection, he thought he might cry. “Of course I vas. I ‘ave never been so ‘appy to see you.”

[/color] He confessed honestly. He knew that she had tried and whether her surprises failed or worked, it was the fact that she tried that touched him so much. That made him happier than anything else could and that was what he loved about her. He didn’t care if she got him gifts or wowed him with something amazing, the whole idea that she was willing to do it was enough for him.

He swallowed and looked at her sadly. He knew that none of this had been fair on her and he knew that her owed her many, many explanations, but truthfully, he didn’t even know where to begin now after everything that had happened in the last month or so. He was still trying to get his head around everything himself and it wasn’t made easier by not knowing exactly what – this – was. “I know. I ‘ad no time to tell you vhen I left. Eet vas unfair, I know, but my mother did not know ‘ow long Daphne ‘ad left and made eet very clear zhat eet vas urgent. I vas goin’ to tell you everything when I came ‘ome. Over zee phone just seemed so wrong for such a big thing.”[/color] He confessed, only dealing with the tip of the iceberg for now. He knew that she probably had questions and other things to say about the situation, but he wanted her to know the bare basics now that they were both not screaming at each other and finally acting civil after everything.
He sighed, listening to her words and running his fingers through his thick, dark curls. “Stop blaming yourself for everything Bella. Just because we ‘ad a fight or two does not mean zhat I ‘ate you. Zhat eez just part of being in a relationship. Zhis time, everything just ‘appened at once and zhat eez something zhat vould never ‘appen again. Ve both made a mistake and ve’ll probably make zhem again, but ve cannot let them control vhat ‘appens. I love you, regardless of everything zhat ‘appened and vhat vas said.”[/color]

Before she could carry on with the rest of the words that came from her mouth, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close enough to try and show her that he meant what he was saying now and not then. “No, no I did not. Vhen I get mad, I yell zee things zhat vill ‘urt people zee most. I guess eet’s a good job zhat I do not ‘ave much of a temper for zhat reason. Bella, if I thought everything zhat I said at zee airport, zhen vhy vould I ‘ave been coming ‘ome to you to start vith, brining Laurence vith me? Surely, I vould come alone if I planned on leaving you and returning to Arles?”[/color] He brushed her hair from her face and rested his forehead against hers, but remained silent. He had no words for her, just wishing that she would accept what he was saying and believe him now more than ever. Yes, they had a lot to talk about and work through, but he knew that they could do it.

He looked down at the floor and nodded. He did remember encouraging her to go to this audition and it had slipped his mind completely until she had mentioned it again now. He felt awful about it, but he knew what he had to do. “And, you should go. Eet eez important for your career and I know you wanted it so badly but…Bella, I do not vant you to go. Eet eez selfish, I know, but I did not think at zee time vhat vould ‘appen if you got the role, I didn’t think. I do not vant to be apart from you though and if zhat makes me ‘orrible, zhen I am sorry. I just love you so much.”[/color]

Marc looked at her with sad eyes before walking over and sitting on the floor in the spot next to her. He noticed the small pair of eyes on his every move and he gave thanks that Laurence didn’t understand English yet. The last thing he wanted was little ears listening to everything they were saying right now. “Listen, I love you no matter vhat you think and zhat eez something zhat you can change vith vords or actions. I am always going to be madly in love with you Bella.”[/color] he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to his side, hoping that she’d finally relax with him and understand what he was saying. He was fairly certain that he was saying this all in English.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify]

• • •

TAGGED! Bella <3
WORDS! 1,056
OUTFIT! Ducky Fuzz
LYRICS! Miracles and Medicine- - - Cauterize
NOTES! <3 <3 <3